This poem is from my book ‘Brilliant’.
I got a massive box of chocolates
but I didn’t get a bike
I got some extra-special roller-skates
but I didn’t get a bike
I got a mind-blowing computer game
but I didn’t get a bike.
(i)
This year,
though not by choice,
Santa Claus is spending Christmas
with his in-laws.
Ask him why
and he’ll just sigh
and say
‘Because…’
(ii)
Indoors
grim as a blizzard
prickly as holly
charming as a burst pipe
Mrs Santa…claws!
(iii)
Outdoors
the reindeer have downed sleigh
and are moaning
about the increased work-load
and the frozen pay.
Led by hard-nosed Rudolf the Red
(who, contrary to popular belief, is not nice)
they are imposing a work to rule
– a no slide rule on the ice
– a go slow on the snow.
Most folk, thinks Santa, just don’t realise,
being the boss is not all mince pies
and Ho! Ho! Ho!
(iv)
After much negotiation
and hard snowballing
Santa and the reindeer
have reached an agreement.
The Christmas delivery is safe.
Unlike Santa, who,
hurrying to and fro,
slips on the fast freezing snow.
Oh! Oh! Ow!
(v)
Christmas Day.
Work done.
Santa watches his mother-in-law
(a tough old bird)
wrestling with the turkey.
Boxing Day!
The fight goes on.
Two falls and a submission.
It’s over.
The turkey’s won.
(vi)
Sometimes
(don’t you know, know, know)
Santa, too, wrestles;
has a bout with self-doubt,
and loses.
At times
(don’t you know, know, know)
he even finds it hard
to believe in himself
himself.
This year,
to get him through this crisis,
to save him from distress,
I’m conducting a little survey
to discover, more or less,
who still believes in Father Christmas.
So if you do, shout YES!
Bernard Young is an experienced performance poet who is available for workshops in schools, particularly primary age (KS1/KS2). He’s based in Manchester, but happy to travel further afield. Over the years he’s also worked successfully in partnership with Road Safety officers combining the road safety message with creative writing. To book Bernard for a workshop in your school, see Contact page.
My heart is beating
fast, not slow,
as I stand beneath
the mistletoe.
My face is red.
My ears aglow.
I’ve just been snogged
by Rachel Snow*.
It was GREAT!
Not so-so.
She’s a terrific kisser.
Now you know.
* This is made up. Miss Snow is no-one I know.
Bernard Young is an experienced performance poet who is available for workshops, in schools particularly primary age. He’s based in Manchester, but happy to travel further afield. Over the years he’s also worked successfully in partnership with Road Safety officers combining the road safety message with creative writing. To book Bernard for a workshop in your school, see Contact page.
When the wind is blowing
And snow is on the way
Get your woolly hat on
Wrap up warm today
And sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up rap
Find a scarf and good thick gloves
Don’t forget your coat
Be prepared for the attack
When Jack Frost grabs your throat
And sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up rap
Here comes thunder
Here comes hail
Hear the thunder
Dodge the hail
And sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up rap
Hat for head
Socks for toes
In your scarf
Bury your nose
And sing the wrap up
Sing the wrap up
Sing that wrap up rap
Bernard Young is an experienced performance poet who is available for workshops in schools, particularly primary age. He is based in Manchester, but will travel further afield. Over the years he has also worked successfully in partnership with Road Safety officers, combining the road safety message with creative writing. For more info, see the Contact page.
I’ve seen some posts on facebook about the fact that cold weather in winter is no surprise, it happens every year. It reminded me to share a poem about it.
Take a misty morning
A foggy night
A snuffly nose
A snowball fight
An icy road
Warm woolly tights
Add chilblain pain
A wind that bites
Then summon sleet
Think thoughts of white
Now look outside
It’s winter. Right?
Bernard Young is an experienced performance poet who is available for workshops in schools, particularly primary age. He is based in Manchester, but will travel further afield. Over the years he has also worked successfully in partnership with Road Safety officers, combining the road safety message with creative writing. For more information, see the Contact page.
Bernard Young Poet 